I have this friend Roy, that just showed up recently, although I really hate to use the term "friend" at this point in the game, because honestly, he is anything but!
I didn't even realize he was here until it was too late and then I wasn't able to do anything about it, not immediately anyhow. It was a rather painful realization, having been given no forewarning whatsoever (note, to those reading this, always call before you come over!) when he just appeared out of nowhere. Thankfully the guest towels in the upstairs loo are freshly washed, so I don't have to worry about that!
I haven't seen or heard from Roy in ages, literally. To be truthful, the last time Roy came around we didn't part on on such good terms. And now, he's pulling the same shit he did back then, except in a much larger way. He shows up unannounced, makes himself at home without even asking if he's inconveniencing us in any way, and stays until he's forcefully removed. He makes my life a living hell! I can't sit down for 5 seconds without being excruciatingly reminded that he's here. He requires almost constant attention and his needs are literally a pain in the ass.
His arrival necessitated a special diet...so I went out and purchased all the things that I know will make his presence here, more bearable; flax seed, blueberries, expensive whole-grain bread, ingredients for bran muffins and special bottled water. He also has medication that he asked me to pick up because he was so tired from his long journey here that he just couldn't be bothered to get them himself, so I went out and got him his many creams and ointments in hopes of getting some peace and quiet. He places so much pressure on me when he's around that it's nearly impossible to focus on anything else except for the huge pain in my ass that he is!
Having him around is literally like wearing another skin. He is always breathing on me. Thankfully, the hubby is very patient and his place in my life isn't threatened by Roy's seemingly unending neediness. It has gotten to the point, that at the end of the day I don't want to be touched or so much as looked at, and the hubby, understanding the frustration and irritation I am suffering, kindly keeps his distance. I can't even use the loo without sitting there, in a heap of tears because he causes me so much anxiety and overall trouble. Oh and did I mention the monumental pain in the ass he is?
I have, this time around, come to the horrible realization that I am going to have to stand up for myself and cut his time here short. Forcibly. I will have to make some permanent changes in order to prevent him from coming back, but at this point in the game, I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes to get him out of my life for good!
So on Friday morning at 10:15AM Roy and I are taking a little drive, a drive which will be incredibly painful at that, and he will be compelled to vacate the premises through means other than my own, seeing as how those efforts have all but failed. H. Roy Id will no longer be a part of my life after this, nor will he be be a pain in my ass! C'est la vie!
P.S. If you didn't understand my veiled meaning with all this nonsense, email me!
