Because Insomnia is My New BFF

I found this nifty (not the rat!  He is long gone!) little meme over at Jess' place and decided to hijack it because I once again can't sleep. 

OK, the truth is that yes, I did hijack the meme from Jess but I can't sleep because I have the same Goddamned nightmare over and over - that I've been having for 18 months now and the only way to keep from having the nightmare is to take two Xanax before bed.  I'm scared of developing a substance abuse problem on top of the nasty little eating disorder, so I just don't go to sleep until I absolutely can't keep my eyes open any longer.  I still end up having the nightmares about 75% of the time I don't take the Xanax, but I'm grateful for the nights that I can sleep, unfettered with the fucking nightmares that have plagued me for so long.

Anyhow, here we go!  By all means, feel free to hijack this from me, because you know you really want to.  Or maybe not.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
The mortgage because it's huge.  It's the only "debt" we have aside from the regular monthly stuff like the ultilities.  Oh wait, there is another one I hate almost equally.  Our monthly fuel oil bill.  Living in New England, we heat our homes with fuel oil and it's hideously expensive.   And people wonder why we keep getting more and more cats.  No you ninnies, it's not to use their skins...it's so we can pile them on our beds at night in order to keep warm.  Hence the reason we'll be getting a Newfie soon!   And then I'm going to learn how to take all the cat hair we FURminate off all the beasties and get myself a big-ass loom and spin it into yarn.  I'll make a fortune off of it...or have really unique blankets.  Or not.  I sort of forgot that I don't know how to crochet or knit.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
I can't honestly remember to tell you the truth.  I rarely leave the house to go and do things like that.  People in restaurants are always looking at what fat people eat, and I hate to be subjected to scrutiny like that.   Sometimes though, once the Little Imp is in bed, the hubby and I will snuggle up under a big duvet and share chocolate covered strawberries...his covered with milk chocolate and mine with white.  That counts doesn't it, as a romantic meal?

3. Last time you went to the movies?
I took Meg and  eight of her friends to see the worst movie ever made...Drag Me to Hell.  After the movie, indeed I felt like I'd been dragged to hell. 

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
I have never ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar.  Oiy! 
However, the last time I was considered slightly inebriated was Christmas night.  That's all I have to say about that.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Jesus on a bike!  I can't remember that far back.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Sleeping and dreaming about being somewhere where it is not raining, rather than sleeping and dreaming about standing  in a bikini in front of the men who have hurt me and abused me.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Famous author and radio DJ.  So far I've accomplished one out of two.  Not bad.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
4

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
I'm stealing Jess' answer.  Because it was clean.  When you have children, "clean" takes priority over "stylish" or "trendy."

10. If you could move anywhere where would you go?
Go back home to Cape Elizabeth.  It's only 35 miles south of where we are right now, but it's home.

11. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
It didn't go off. The Little Imp was at Montessori and after she left for school at 6:30 this morning I turned over and went back to sleep until 11AM.  Yeah, it was a bad night last night. 

12. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
"Please Jesus, God and whoever else is up there, don't let me have that dream.  Anything but that dream.  Please please please please please....."

13. Favorite type of music?
I'm eclectic when it comes to music.  But at this moment, I'm seriously into horror movie soundtracks and a awesome Australian, Gabriella Cilmi.  Check her out!

14. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Read.  Write.  Take pictures.  Hang with the hubby and the Little Imp and make her laugh.  Chill with Megawatt. 

15. What errand/chore do you despise?
Any and all of them.

16. Get up early or sleep in?
I'm depressed.  Sleep is a way of life for me. 

17. What is your favorite cartoon character?
"Little Audrey"

18. What do you miss most about high school?
Mr. Hackney and chillin' with the peeps from his Econ/Gov't class.

19.What do you miss most about college?
Being excited to finally "get it"....all the adult concepts and philosophies that I always thought were over my head, but eventually sunk in.  I miss that feeling.

20.When did you first start feeling old?
When I opened my mouth and heard my mother jump out.  It's happening more often lately especially as it relates to Megawatt and I.  I find myself really not liking how she dresses sometimes, or the shit she's done to her hair (she bought BLACK extensions and they look...well, less than stellar), or telling her to turn her "Goddamned stereo down!"   I clearly remember my own mother ripping me a new one over similar things and promising myself I'd never "get old" like that and be a harpy.  Now when I look in the mirror I say, "Well hello old harpy!"  

21.Favorite 80’s movie?
The Breakfast Club

22.Your favorite lunch meat?
Smoked turkey

23.What do you get every time you go into Sam’s Club? Or Walmart?
Notta

24.Beach or lake?
Beach!  The ocean is where it's at!

25.Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Dude, I've been married three times.  I obviously don't think it's outdated...it's just that it wasn't until the third time that I actually picked the right one.

26.Favorite guilty pleasure?
Cheesy vampire romance novels, yeah, just like Twilight.  Oh and if I can read one of them whilst eating a bologna sammie loaded with Fritos, all the more guiltily pleasurable. Oh and I can't forget the ice cold Coke over crushed ice. 

27.Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
Bob Hope and Lucille Ball movies.  Shuddup already!

28.What’s your drink?
Those Down Under Darned from Outback...other than that, it's Coke over crushed ice.

29.Cowboys or Indians?
Native Americans!  I am after all, half Cherokee, what did you think I was gonna say?

30.Cops or Robbers?
Cops.  They have handcuffs.  'Nuff said.

31.Who from high school would you like to run into?
Lauren Geary, Donnie Hale, Walter Hawthorne, and Kim Smith.

32.What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
WGAN...talk radio.  Yeah so I like to listen to talk radio, go figure!

33.The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Neither.  I have never even seen an episode of the Simpsons.  Something about Homer makes me itch.

34.Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
The list is long and it's futile to think about them now.  Not a damn thing I can do about it.

35.If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
Yeah right, like I'd actually put that out there for everyone to read. 

36.What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?
Lucille Ball (I know I know, she's dead) or Julia Roberts.  I have such a girl-crush on Julia. *sigh*

37.What famous person would you like to sleep with?
Jesus wept!  My HUSBAND is reading this! But if you put a gun to my head and said that I absolutely, under the threat of death, must answer this, well, who am I to argue with that?  There are a few.  Jeremy Clarkson, although his wife might take issue with that.  Hugh Laurie, and his wife might raise an eyebrow too...and last but not least, James Marsters.

38.Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Yes.  That's all I have to say about that.

39.Last book you read for real?
An Inconvenient Book by Glenn Beck, first four books in the House of Night series (don't waste your money), When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris, Stiff by Mary Roach, Cherokee Indian Nation - A Troubled History, by Duane H. King, Understanding Exposure, by Bryan Peterson, Kings and Queens of England and Scotland, by Somerset Fry,  Interview with the Vampyre, by Anne Rice - for the fifteenth millon time.  Those are only some of the ones I'm currently trying to get through.

40.Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
At the radio station I used to work at in Columbus, OH. WCOL.  I was minutes from going on air and Lonestar was coming into the studio for an interview.

41.Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
I grew up in So Cal and I honestly can't think of any place I have never been that I'd want to go to down there.

42.What is your favorite sport to do?
Recliner aerobics.  You think I'm kidding?  Seriously, back when I used to not be sedentary, it was either Archery or Snowboarding.

43.What time do you go to bed?
Whenever the Xanax kicks in or whenever I faceplant into the computer.

44. Have you ever been in love?
Once...and I'm married to that true love.

45.Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes!

46.Have you ever cheated on someone?
No.

47.Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes!

48.Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Yes.

49.At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Neither.

50.Just how OLD are you?
OLD.

Comments

[the planet of janet]

it's almost 11 p.m. ... and WHY exactly am i still up? because i had blogs to read?

and for the record, i DO know the name of my first grade teacher ;-)

[Merritt]

Auds I love your meme. Most are boring and dont have any thought behind them. Okay, and yours is terribly amusing too.

I'm still here reading between trips in and out of the country for work. Was so glad to read you're going on a little adventure. I think it will be good for you! I cant wait to read all about how you and Megawatt fared on the trip down and back. Makes me wish I'd thought to take my mom on a road trip or two before she passed away a couple of years ago.

Merritt

[Mama Goose]

Hey the sun is out down here this morning! Hope you're getting some of it too!

[Halala Mama]

Ahh...some friends at my Catholic school and I get together regularly, and others complain that we leave them out (we don't intentionally), so I suggested we plan a group outing ot see Drag Me to Hell and anyone who didn't come would never be invited again! HA!

[Jess]

Yay! You used it! That made me giddy for some reason. I'm such a dork. :-D

I see you like the Coca Cola. If you ever travel outside of Maine, see if you can get a hold of the Mexican Coca Cola. It comes in glass bottles and is made with sugar, REAL sugar. I know it's not available in Maine because my buddy over there has looked high and low for it, but maybe they'll start stocking it in another year or so. Good stuff.

[Tiaras & Tantrums]

love this one! Have not seen this one prior!

I've never danced on a bar drunk either!!

[Madge]

I fall asleep, but wake up for a couple hours almost every night. Totally stress related. Wish it would stop -- both the stress and the not sleeping.

[noble pig]

You just reminded me to pay the mortgage, I had totally forgotten! Thank you!

[Linda]

Sorry about your nightmares Auds. I used to have one over & over too. A few years after ELPH & I got married it stopped. Hope yours will soon.
I remember my 1st grade teacher, Mrs. Heimeister. What a witch! Black dress, gray bun, mean, mean, mean. Don't know why she became a teacher. And there isn't one person from HS I can even remember let alone want to see again. Life got better after HS.

[Suzy Voices]

Aww man, insomnia sucks! Hubby struggles with that too, but I don't because I drug myself up every night with Klonopin.

And hey, it took me three times to find the right man, too!

AND I love the cheesy vampire romance novels. I was vampire when vampire wasn't cool. I haven't even read Twilight!

[Asthmagirl]

a. you are not old.
b. that is a long ass list
c. I do not want to talk about insomnia

See you next week!
(I love saying that!)

[melissa]

Nice meme.
I know insomnia. I wish I had insurance so I could get something to make me sleep, dreamless.

[Kimberly]

LMAO @ "Well hello old harpy".... I can SO relate!

And, I'm in agreement 100% about Drag Me To Hell. 90 minutes of my life wasted.