Road Trip! AKA Thelma & Louise Part II

I guess I need to preface this by letting the hubby know that; I'm pretty sure I promise, in the event Megawatt and I are pulled into a gas station and along comes Brad Pitt, we won't give him a ride.  No matter how much he begs, or makes puppy dog eyes at us or promises he's going to leave Angelina.  Nope, there won't be any room in the Barking Madmobile for Mr. Pitt.  No way, no how.  Now, doncha feel better hubby dearest?

Louise Megawatt and I are getting ready to take a road trip (we leave the 15th) and we're both in the midst of making lists (what to pack for instance, "Not every bloody thing you own!" the hubby chimes in!) and checking them twice and betting one another who's going to be naughty and which one will be nice.  Megawatt is of the opinion that she and I ought to have a huge "Mother-Daughter" bitchfest now and get it out of the way so that we don't maim one another on the long drive down to Blog Fest.   I think her idea has a bit of potential if I do say so myself.  I wonder if there is anywhere around here we can rent those sumo wrestler suits and just have a merry go at one another out in the back garden?

Why would we need to do that?  Because it's a long-ass drive, that's why.  See...

click to enlarge image

Yes m'dears, that's right, Mrs. Barking Mad will indeed be leaving the asylum for a short holiday with her eldest daughter to meet and enjoy the company of other awesome women like her, and her, and her too, along with lots of others.

Megawatt and I will be staying here (that's for all of you creepy internet stalker types who want to come and prey on an overweight mom and her cute daughter), in this cute little room...

 

...Although, we won't be spending much time in there because Chesapeake Bay Woman and Big Hair Envy have so many awesome things planned for us, which is a good thing.  I reckon Megawatt and I would get on one another's nerves, cooped up in that little ol' room.

There was a fair amount of back-peddling on my part; trying to think of ways I could get out of this, but between my shrink, hubby and eldest daughter, they've all decided this will be a good thing for me and to just shut the hell up and quite whimpering to go and enjoy the time with Megawatt before she leaves for the Air Force.

Having said all that, my To-Do list, much like the others attending Blog Fest or even those attending BlogHer '09 in Chicago (I swear, if I have to read another post from a woman who weighs all of 105lbs soaking wet, about how she needs to lose "a ton" of weight before Blog Her, I am going to stab myself in the eye!),has a few things on it, which I imagine, are not too dissimilar from theirs...

Lose weight
Become interesting/humorous/less boring
Learn witty anecdotes
Become less paranoid and self-conscious
Learn how to immunize myself against "Foot in Mouth" disease
Bribe doctor into Rx'ing double dose of Xanax

However, I am going to make a valiant effort to keep all my inner bullshit to a minimum, enjoy myself and not worry too terribly much about what everyone else is thinking of me.  Besides, I really need to be able to focus on the important things like, where the hell am I going to pack all the non-essentials when the things like wine, beer, bottled water, and bug spray are going to take up most of the room?  And we can't forget the huge issue of "Road Trip Music" when you have a 40 year old and a 19 year old taking turns at the wheel.  Seriously, I don't know how much Screamo crap I can handle before I'll make Megawatt pull over so I can strangle her, and alternatively, I don't know how much Depeche Mode, Pachabel, Midnight Syndicate and Rob Zombie she'll be able to handle before she begs me to let her walk the rest of the way to Chesapeake Bay.

For those of you reading this who are my fellow Blog Festites (I was going to say "Blog Festers", but somehow that brought about a mental image of festering boils...ewwww!), here we are...Thelma and Louise, reincarnated...

Brad Pitt will be jealous (or perhaps grateful!) he didn't hitch a ride with us.

P.S.  Don't forget about the AWESOME Keurig giveaway!  Get your entries in!

Comments

[Meg]

You're a braver woman than I! Or maybe your daughter is. I would no sooner embark on a trip of that length with my mom in the same car with me as I would, [insert nutty thing here]. Looking forward to meeting you both!

[Cactus Petunia]

I wish I could be there to meet you and all those other amazing bloggers. Maybe some day we can to do a west coast version!

[AnnetteK]

It looks like a lot of fun, and who better to road trip with than your daughter? Very cool.

[Jen]

You're coming to my neck of the woods--not quite as beautiful as Maine, but you gals try to enjoy the drive! Take the scenic route down the Eastern Shore.

[Chesapeake Bay Woman]

Hooray! I can't wait. Ativan, Xanax, we should be well stocked on the anxiety medications. Plus, of course, I'll have loads of wine.

Looking forward to it!

[Fairly Odd Mother]

If you need to make a pit stop south of Boston, email me! Have a safe drive and HAVE FUN!

[baronessvonbloggenschtern]

Thank you for putting into such succinct words what we're all freaking out, er, thinking about. In between the "WTF was I thinking?"s and the "What about this ___(fill in the item of clothing)? Should I pack this? What message will it give? Do I care? Aw, screw it - it's going in"s.

[foolery]

Ohmygosh PACKING? Ya mean youse guys have already started PACKING?

Full-scale freak-out on its way.

I haven't flown since before the liquid ban and I haven't looked up the maximums yet -- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-SLAP!-HHHHHHH . . . HH

Okay, I'm fine now.

Totally cool. Looking forward to sharing my neuroses with a whole other side of the continent. Plus there's that whole boob thing. I just KNOW people will be doing boob comparisons and I'm totally gonna los-- wait, what? No boob contest? WHEW! Now THERE'S a load off my mind.

Can't wait to meet you, Darlin'! Please don't tease my boobs!

[Asthmagirl]

I packed my anxiety bag weeks ago when I realized that my 'muffin top' was making the trip with me.

Now I'm toying with how much of a hick I'll be compared with all y'all on the east coast. (I do use tissue and I try to burp quietly)

Ah, who cares... We'll be having too much fun, right?!

[Mama Goose]

WooHoo! Have a blast!!!

[Meg]

I like all your music...just none of that talk radio... I swear to go if I have to hear that even once down there i will lodge myself out of the window like a canon at the circus. ... other then that it shall be a blast.

[Meg]

p.s. I am soooo excited :)

[melissa]

I'm so envious of you guys! Have a great trip. I wanted to go but I'm not really a blogger. Just a chronic complainer...

[joanne]

OOok. I see you'll be coming Right down past me, marls and christina. So when we meeting up biatchhhh??

LOL. Don't say No!

[Headless Mom]

Have a blast you 2!

[Linda]

OK Where was I when this memo went out?? I'm no writer so BlogHer was not for me but this sounds so awesome! Wish I didn't have my head in the sand or I'd be there too!
Have a safe and fun trip. Take LOTS of pictures!
PS. Meg, it could be worse. I listen to country music =)

[Rachael]

Auds, I am SO proud of you for doing this trip, stepping out of your box like that. I know you are going to have an amazing time, and you will never forget your awesome adventure with Meg. I am actually totally jealous and wish I could go too!

[MomZombie]

This sounds like all kinds of fun! I can't wait to read the posts.

[Jennifer]

Sounds like a great road trip!

I hope to see you at BlogHer!!!

[Kate]

I'm a fellow Blog Festite. Yes, it does sound so much better than Fester. Never been here, so hello to you!

You've got a long way to go, I see. Mental P, Annie and Daryl are picking me up late morning Thursday and it's a 5 hour trip from here. (I live in Maryland). I think it's great you're bringing your daughter!