I have been in a really strange mood most of the day. As night drew close, things went downhill fast after a major disagreement between my youngest son and me. As a result of how I left things with him, I spent most of the evening flagellating myself over my poor parenting skills and was doubting my ability, in it's entirety, as a parent.
As I sat on the couch, fuming and miserable, I happened to spy a brand new box of Orville Redenbacher (who has not paid me or endorsed this post in any way, shape or form, and considering the fact that he's been dead for a while now, it would be creepy if he had!), microwave popcorn.
Gareth had just built a roaring fire in the fireplace and as I warmed my feet in front of the fireplace, I glanced back at the counter at the bright red box of popcorn; an idea began to take shape.
For those of you who are already adding up 2+2, that's probably because you're keenly familiar with my juvenile sense of humor after reading my many bizarre and unusual Facebook status updates from this past Saturday night. I had to go to the place known as Hell on Earth during the holiday season...WalMart. It was pretty late and I didn't think many people would be there. Ha! Despite the fact that it was well after 11PM, the place was packed.
As I wandered through the store looking for the things I needed, I happened to head into the toy department. To make a long story short, I set off every single electronic toy I could think of, and then bailed as quickly as I could to the hunting and camping department. By the time I got over there, I could still hear the squeals from Torture Me Elmo and the peals of laughter from Baby Shouldn't Be Alive - all the way across the store.
That wasn't enough though. On my way back to the other side of the store, I detoured once more into the toy department and thought to myself, "Self, what fresh Hell can we wreak now?" Piled one on top of the other on the shelf in front of me were several Fancy Nancy dolls. Personally I think she needs to be renamed Freaky and Frumpy Nancy but what do I know? I'm not a marketing type.
I grabbed as many of those Freaky and Frumpy Fancy Nancy dolls as my arms could hold and placed each one on a bicycle. Hey, even Nancy wants a ride!
Fast forward to this evening.
I opened the box of microwave popcorn and took a bag out of the box. As I unwrapped it, I glanced at Gareth, who then looked around for each cat (I'm assuming to make sure they were safely tucked out of harms way - he knows what happens when I play with fire) and then he grabbed Gaby and told her to stand well away from mummy.
What happened next? Glad you asked. Here's the video I shot of the entire thing. Be sure and watch the entire 2 1/2 minutes...the ending is especially explosive.
I'm going to go change my pants now.