In the middle of dealing with a sick child (I'm not going to elaborate publicly because I don't want something I write about a very unpleasant time in Gaby's life to be used as fodder against her years down the line, by immature bullies who happen upon her mom's blog!), researching more and more diet (what have we said about the word "Diet"???? Come on now...it's a nasty four letter word!) information, running term papers I have been asked to proof, through Turn It In, (Oh my God, how do these kids get into college when 30% of everything I'm running through that site ends up being plagiarized?), and realizing that I am altogether too fond of parenthesis, I have been busy. So busy.
But...not so busy that I didn't have a wee bit of time today to see if I couldn't coax my dormant Martha Stewart gene into showing it's beautiful little face.
Alas, no matter how much prodding, begging, and outright coercion I try, I am now firmly of the opinion that I do not possess said gene. Nor have I ever. Along with the missing Martha gene, I seem to have no ability to photograph food. Pricey, ancient camera? Check! Lens I saved for almost a year for? Check! Beautiful photographs of my creative endeavors? Um, not so much. Of course it probably didn't help that I was taking pictures at 10PM in the poor light and had a crap subject to begin with.
What have I been trying to create you ask?
Can I just say that those little buggers look a hell of a lot easier to make (I personally don't care for them, especially the ones that are made with mashed up cake and frosting! Gag! So I got a Baby Cakes cake pop maker a few months ago, thinking these would be something fun for Gaby and me to do together and that I'd be able to create brilliant little pops with the pop maker...except no where do the directions tell you that you're going to end up with something that looks akin to Saturn, from your first few batches! ) than they actually are?
Hello Saturn! (these next three photos were cell phone pics)
Eventually I figured out the right amount of cake batter to squirt into the little round thingys...oh and using a condiment squirter is key to this!
There are balls in the fridge, balls in the freezer, balls in a bag on the counter, balls in Gaby's lunch (shhhhh, don't tell anyone at her school! She's not supposed to take anything like that in her lunch. Normally she wouldn't be taking anything like that in her lunch but I've got to do something with all these damned balls!), and I'm sure if I looked around, there would be a few balls rolling around on the floor.
So, as if fiddling around with a little kitchen appliance that gets hot enough to melt gold wasn't enough, I decided to use candy melts to dip the cake pops into and then hopefully end up with something that was a work of art. I had no idea that "work of art" would end up resembling something Picasso's grandson created.
Those candy melts? Didn't.
Well OK, that's not entirely true. They melted, in the double boiler, just not into anything that I could dip a cake ball into. The melting mixture of goo separated and looked like an albino oil spill in my kitchen. Nothing I did could salvage an entire bag of white candy melts.
After my very own meltdown, I decided just to dip the damned balls into softened frosting.
The end result was not very pretty, so I thought to myself, "Self, you have some Luster Dust/Pearl Dust, why not put some of that on those annoying little balls from hell?" So I did. I not only dusted the balls, but my counters, the stove top, the sink, the faucets, my cleavage, my hair, the toaster, the left over chicken and dumplings. That crap gets everywhere. If I walk outside tomorrow morning, without having showered first, and the direct sunlight hits me, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be mistaken for a Cullen. Well, OK, a long lost relative of the Cullens. A relative that's been dining on every animal from here to Chattanooga!
Anyhow, the end result looks like a bizarre appetizer from a 70's disco party...like the kind they'd have had before going out to see Saturday Night Fever.
I give you, Disco Balls From Hell....
"Whether you're a brother
or whether you're a mother
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Feel the city breakin
and everybody shakin'
and were stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive...."
Now that I've given you all an ear worm, I guess I'll just go ahead and throw it out there that on Friday April 13th (dammit, Friday the 13th is going to be a good day!) 2012, I am going to be giving away a $100 VISA gift card. Why? Because I want to. And because I love you so much, I'm going to be tossing in a Baby Cakes cake pop maker as well! No, no one is paying me or giving me anything in return for this post. It's just another one of my random giveaways.
Tomorrow I'll post more details about the giveaway. Basically I think it's just going to be a entry for a comment type of thing. I'd love to know what some of your more creative disasters have been. OK, I really just want to know that I'm not alone in not having a Martha Stewart gene.
More on all of that tomorrow. I need to go de-luster dust my kitchen. While I can find the humor in being mistaken for a well-fed Cullen in broad daylight, something tells me that my husband is not going to find being coated in pink, gold, and silver luster dust, so amusing.